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Undoing the Nightmare

The recent killing of Osama bin Laden by the United States has generated much discussion among my family, friends, colleagues, and students of A Course in Miracles.  Some of the comments I’ve heard have been:  “He deserved everything he got.”  “We should have taken him alive.”  “The world is a better place without him in it.”   “It made me sick to see all the celebrations and rejoicing over his death.”  “I don’t believe he’s really dead; I think it’s all a political ruse to gain support for Obama.”   I confess, my first reaction to the news of his death was relief.   Immediately following, however, was a clear recognition that ego was the voice I heard in my head. Then, with help from Holy Spirit, I realized that, for the sleeping Sons of God, killing other people, with differing value systems in the illusion, will never be over until we collectively change the dream we’re in.  The world is basically a battleground made up by egos and, therefore, is filled with judgment and attack.  I began to think about how to do my part to understand and explain these events and similar situations in a way that will help move the collective dream forward in time to changing our minds about the world and then to see it differently.

All of the comments mentioned above, including my own initial ego reaction, are all judgments in which I get to play God.  Only the sleeping Sons of God play at being God, because that game upholds my own specialness and individuality. I’ve always had an authority problem, but little did I know that it was all about my authority problem with God. I hate being told what to think or what to do.  As difficult as it is to admit, I like judging, and I have a deeply held and cherished belief in my separation from God, which is the whole crux of my judgment, attack and hate.  The Course is teaching me that this same belief in my mind is also that from which, collectively, the world’s physical existence and my own body were made.

I am beginning to undo the long nightmare of my separation from God and have chosen a path that helps me remember who I truly am.  I am beginning to understand that I project judgment, attack and hate onto others and to the world in general because, whatever it is, that is what I think of myself.  I do this from the ego’s false thought system, because then I don’t have to see or even get a glimpse of the darkness inside of myself.  If that were to happen, I think I would lose my cover identity, a/k/a my specialness, my personality, my false identities that I am very attached to. The ego is all about keeping its illusions as far away from Truth as possible, and judgment seems to do the job.  As a result, my personal ego illusions seem so very far away from Truth in my mind, that I am rarely able or willing to see the guilt embedded within and buried well below my judgments, attacks, self righteousness, and rationalizations.

When current events in the world collide or coincide with the way I think things should be, I tend to fall back on the very same thought system that got me and the collective “we” into these situations in the first place.  What do I do?  I judge, which always involves rejection, shame, blame, hate, and attack.  If I can think about Osama bin Laden and the people involved with the circumstances of his life and death in the same way I am learning to think about my Self, then I can begin to start recognizing them as who they truly are:  dearly beloved and treasured by God.   They are, and will always be, just as I am, the sleeping Son of God.  Nothing anyone does will ever change the Truth about me.  Forgiveness, though it must be learned in the illusion, is my way out of the illusion.   In Truth, I have nothing but illusions to lose, and that’s no loss at all.  On my chosen path, I am a messenger of love and forgiveness in the world.  As I get closer and closer to understanding the ongoing evolutionary process of my ego identity, I am ever more certain that I cannot and will not fail to wake up to my Oneness with God, with my brothers, and with my Self in everlasting holiness and peace.