I’ve long been convinced, and remain convinced, that we are not going to make real progress with the Course unless we really do the practice taught by the Workbook. And that means, among other things, putting in the time.
I’ve always been resistant to that, because I feel I just don’t have enough time in my life. So while I am doing my practice on the hour, for instance, I am not doing something else that needs to get done (or that I want to do). I think this resistance is, quite frankly, why my practice tends to peter out toward the end of the day. Don’t get me wrong—I do a good deal of practice each day, but it rarely feels nearly as full or as frequent as it really ought to be.
“I really don’t have the time”–is what I have been telling myself in the back of my mind. But even while I tell myself that, I know better. For a long time now I have been watching the double standard I have in this regard. When it comes to my practice, I can’t spare the time. But when it comes to doing all sorts of other things that I find easier, somehow the time seems to magically be there. Strange, isn’t that?
Lately, I have been much more drawn to doing my practice. I am getting a lot more out of it, with the result that I am practicing longer and more frequently. The weird thing is, now that I want to do it, I magically have the time for it. Shoe-horning in the time is suddenly not a problem. The time I thought I didn’t have on the hour is there. The time I thought I didn’t have to recover my day when it’s gone off track is there. The time I thought I didn’t have in the evening is there. The time I thought I didn’t have for longer morning meditations is there.
Basically, it just shows that I’ve been lying to myself about the time thing. As is true with so many areas in life, “I don’t have the time” is really code for “it’s not important enough to me.” It’s really all a matter of priorities.