The day after Robert’s class on “What is the real world?” I had the perfect occasion to use his material with one of my pupils… let’s call her Sandy. We were so excited about what transpired that we wanted to share it with you.
She came to me with a big issue for her… her unloving, critical, judgmental thoughts about one of her colleagues. This person seems to be constantly worrying and complaining about her various ailments and about her husband. There’s a heaviness about her, and Sandy wants to avoid her as much as she can, which is difficult, given that they work together closely. We talked for a while about the situation, looking at some of her beliefs, and then, with Robert’s material fresh in my mind, I suggested that I take her through a visualization. She was eager to resolve the issue and readily agreed. Here’s what followed:
See yourself going into your workplace. Donna is there and you begin to talk––or rather she starts to talk about her problems and concerns.
Start to feel the typical reactions coming up in you, and tell yourself very firmly, “I will not look in the ego’s dark glass, because I know these images of her are not true.” [based on T-4.IV.9:9]
Now as you listen to her, start to focus on only the loving thoughts you have given her and she has offered you. She is still talking, bemoaning her situation, but you are focusing only on those loving thoughts given and received. They are what is true and real about her and you.
As she worries and complains, you see only the holiness in her, her innocence, her real beauty.
As she continues to talk, you see the only purpose of your relationship as being God’s purpose. Your relationship is a classroom in which you are learning to forgive her, give love––offer her miracles of loving kindness––and ultimately to awaken.
Now, just notice what happens… and when you feel ready, bring yourself back.
I feel great! I could feel myself getting all tight at the beginning. I get that way even before she comes into our area. She comes in and goes right into her office, and then she comes out and I get all tight… and I wear a mask. As you were taking me through changing the way I looked at her, I could feel a change; I could feel all the tension disappear. All the tension was gone and I felt warm––and I’m actually cold!
It changed everything. I felt like I had these questions in my mind… all correcting questions: “If I let go of this, how are things going to change? How would that be loving?” Then you said that our relationship is a classroom in which we are meant to see only God’s purpose, and that changed everything. It just changed everything. All I had to do was see her truly, see the loving in her and accept it, see the loving in me and accept it, and let the Holy Spirit take care of the rest. God’s purpose is served. I don’t have to hold onto anything, I just have to let it go. This is great…. I’m going to see her in a meeting this afternoon. I want to remember those three points.
It might be an idea to write them down on a card and take it with you into the meeting, and also review them whenever you know you’ll be interacting with her:
1. Focus only on the loving thoughts in your relationship, the loving thoughts in her and in you, the loving thoughts given and received
2. See her holiness and innocence
3. See the only purpose of your relationship to be God’s purpose; as a classroom for learning to forgive, to give love, and ultimately to awaken
Remember what Robert taught in last week’s class on “How to visualize a person”? This is closely related: Look past her body and then past her thought system to the holy Son of God she is.
It does go well with last week’s. I feel better… I really do. I know I’m going to have to work at it more, and think about those visualizations, about how to be with her, so that I can remember that we’re learning together. I feel that I’m saner for a while.
This is perfect! I spent all morning thinking that I was going to cancel our talk today, making up excuses why I couldn’t talk with you. I didn’t want to have to expose this to you and deal with it. I see now that I really wanted to stay separate and not be healed. I thought I was trying to escape from talking about this, but I was trying to escape from the real world!
As you can see, this real world material is very powerful. I had that sense when Robert was presenting it, and this experience with “Sandy” has confirmed it. I’ve written those three components on a card for myself, along with the three points from the previous week’s class, and I am keeping them at the ready! They are definitely being added to my “problem-solving repertoire.” I hope that this story will help you keep the ideas in the forefront of your mind too.