I had this strange and seemingly significant dream last night. The details of what happened visually were peripheral: I was looking through a Course in Miracles newsletter, which was full of very strange poetry (consisting of visual symbols—little blue eggs with pictures of Santa inside!) and pompous claims of total enlightenment. Like I said, though, this part didn’t matter. It was my thought process during the dream that was the real content of the dream.
In this thought process, I suddenly felt a sense of total will behind reaching the goal—the goal of the Course. Everything in me felt like it pointed in that direction, was flowing in that direction. It felt like a pinnacle had been reached, and I was on the verge of a new existence. With my total will behind the achievement of the goal, the goal felt within easy reach. It was now clear that all along all I had been lacking was this total will.
From this new place, I felt like I was surveying countless situations that I typically face. I could now see that in each of these situations I feel a sense of conflict between me and something else. The conflict might be that I disagree with some view out there. Or that something that’s happening is not to my liking—so there is discord between me and that happening. But I saw that in each situation, without me really being aware of it, I was experiencing some kind of conflict. My desires were hitting up against something else. What I was hitting up against was different in each case, but the fact of the hitting was constant.
I also saw that in each case the something else I was hitting up against was like a block keeping me from the goal of the Course—or so I had been telling myself. I had been regarding all these things that I felt in conflict with as the barriers keeping me from my goal, as if they were what was preventing me from breaking through. Now I saw that they were just my excuse. In fact, they had not been the barrier. My own lack of total will had been the real barrier.
From this new place of total will, I felt that in each conflict situation, I could now make a choice that would get me past this sense of conflict. It was as if my one overall choice for the goal could now be expressed in hundreds of little choices to get past hundreds of little conflicts. Each of those little choices would be different. But I felt that, with the strength of that one big choice and with my understanding of the Course, I would be able in each small situation to slip past the sense of conflict and get to the other side. And through those hundreds of little choices successfully made, I would truly reach the goal.
I could do it—I could feel that it was right within my reach. My mind was in a very different place, an elevated place, and I saw myself living my life from that new place. Then I slowly started waking from the dream. As I did, over many minutes, my mind gradually came out of that place. I realized this was natural and inevitable, and so I really focused on making sure I brought the memory of the dream with me. I didn’t want to lose it. By the time I opened my eyes I was back to normal—with my desires hitting up against one thing after another! But it was such a fascinating dream. I can’t help but feel it had significance, but exactly what significance I don’t know. Anyway, I thought it would be nice to share it with all of you. I found it extremely interesting and I thought you might find it interesting, too.