[Please note: ACIM passages quoted in this article reference the Foundation for Inner Peace (FIP) Edition.]
For some time now I have been practicing a new technique whenever I awake in the middle of the night or when I awake early with a sense of anxiety. I lie on on my side, and say to myself, “I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me.” Then I add: “I am safe in the womb of God. I am safe in His mind.”
I know that the idea that God has a womb implies that God is a body, and more than that, a female body, and that we are a body within that body. Obviously, this is not how the Course sees God, and I feel somewhat sacrilegious speaking of God this way. However, I have found that this statement calms me down almost instantly and allows me to get back to sleep. It somehow brings me back to a state in which I feel totally safe, protected, nourished, peaceful, and held in perfect love.
As you can see, I have added, “I am safe in His mind.” I do this to emphasize that God’s mind is really the “womb” in which I am safe. It reminds me of Lesson 35, “My mind is part of God’s. I am very holy,” in which Jesus tells us that,
You will believe you are part of where you think you are. That is because you surround yourself with the environment you want.
If I want an environment of peace, safety, and love, I have to remember that God is my environment, and only in Him can I find those things. A similar idea is “I am surrounded by the Love of God” (264).
Shortly after I started to practice this, Kathy received this in a healing session for me:
I saw you floating in a warm liquid that was completely contained in a clear spherical object that was safe and protected. I could see it but it was safe from the things that surrounded it. I could see planes flying over it and there was a feeling of busy-ness outside of it that had no impact on it at all. Inside, you were totally calm and peaceful, completely cared for in these waters and unaware of what was beyond them. I suddenly realized that this sphere was just like a womb and it was completely life sustaining. I took it to mean that in God is everything you need to live.
I had never told Kathy about my “womb of God” practice, yet here she was seeing almost the exact same image. This confirmed to me that God really is the “womb” in which I am completely safe and calm no matter what goes on in the outer world, including in my body. How effortless life is in this womb. I have nothing to do but hear the sounds of His loving voice and accept the loving nourishment that comes to me from being in this environment. “God is my life. I live and move in Him” (222):
God is with me. He is my Source of life, the life within, the air I breathe, the food by which I am sustained, the water which renews and cleanses me. He is my home, wherein I live and move….”
The second paragraph of Kathy’s account seemed to speak directly to my recent realization about the addiction I have to work:
Then I saw you join the busy-ness outside the sphere, taking that calmness with you. As you went about your work you gave the calmness to others. All the while you were away from the sphere there was a passage back to it, a link from you to it, where you could slip away when necessary to again be nurtured and sustained. [James thought that this might be likened to an umbilical cord, always attaching me to my Source.] I got the impression that for now you need to go there often until you really understand that you never really leave it and that it is there with you always, no matter what busy-ness you find yourself involved in.
If I remember that I am in the “womb” of God, how can I possibly worry about all the work to do? How can I think that I am here to perform and produce? If I remember the stillness of being with Him, I will take this “quiet center” into “every busy doing” on which I may be sent and return to this “place of rest” (T-18.VII.8:1,3) whenever I forget. I will move with the flow of the spirit of God and go about my business with grace and with ease. I truly do need do nothing but accept that God is the environment in which I exist and that He is always giving me everything He has, so that I may live and grow and, not merely survive, but thrive.
Life in a mother’s womb is not always a pleasant experience, especially if the mother happens to be wracked with worry, doubt, anxiety, anger, or other fearful feelings. However, life in the “womb” of God is always totally pleasant. More than that, it is totally everything that I could ever want. In here stillness reigns, and I am calm, peaceful, joyful, safe, and full of love.
I want to keep remembering that God is my true environment, the one I really want, and the only one in which I can grow and develop into my true Self. From now on, I want to remember to take this image into my daytime life as well as my sleep-time. I want to remember to use it as my main response to the temptation to feel burdened, worried, anxious, unloving, and to any threat to my peace of mind. It’s so easy to forget.