This morning in my meditation I was really connecting with the Brother Lawrence version of “Here I am, Lord,” which is “My God, here I am, all Yours”—especially that last phrase: “all Yours.” This made me remember my earlier blog post about trying to get comfortable with the phrase from Lesson 244, “I belong to You.” Now I found the idea really attractive. If I belong to God, then surely that means I’m safe, I’m watched over, I’m in good hands.
Then (still letting too many thoughts intrude on my meditation) I put two and two together. I’ve been reading Helen’s notes for Chapter 2 recently and they open with a long and pretty technical discussion of possession. They detail four variations on the possession drive:
- The drive to possess the bodies of others, or be possessed by them
- The drive to possess things
- The fear of or desire for being possessed by spirits or Spirit (in a possessive, i.e., evil, sense)
- The drive to possess knowledge (in the usual sense of the word)
But these, the section explains, are all “perverted expressions” of the real possession drive, which is the same as “the irresistible attraction of God.” The real possession drive, in other words, is the drive to be possessed—in the healthy sense—by God; the desire to belong to God, to be God’s.
Up until now, I have seen two separate ideas: the idea of belonging to God and the idea of the irresistible attraction (or “pull”) of God. Now I saw that they in fact are one and the same thing. The irresistible attraction of God is the drive to belong to God.
That put a new slant on things. Before, I was seeing belonging to God as something I hopefully could learn to like. But the whole idea of the pull of God is that this pull is so innate and so overpowering that you simply can’t do anything about it. You can cover it over, but you can’t snuff it out.
And when you cover it over, it is still so innate and so overpowering that it doesn’t just lie there dormant. It seeks expression through sideways channels. It finds a way out. It comes out in distorted forms.
Thus, when you want to possess someone’s body (or be possessed by them), that is the drive to belong to God coming out in distorted form. When you want to possess a thing—a house, a car, a new knick-knack, a piece of furniture—that too is the drive to be possessed by God coming out in distorted form. When you want to possess knowledge, and know more than others, that is again the drive to be possessed by God squirting out in sideways form.
In other words, there is literally nothing we can do about this drive. We can either acknowledge it or we can try to distort it. But one way or another, it is coming to the surface, and there it will dominate our lives.
So the right choice is not so much to learn to like it, but to just let it be what it is.