Yesterday’s class was important, in my view, even if it may not have been the most inspirational one we’ve ever had. I first defined the ego as the belief in being a separate self, a self whose needs are met at the expense of others.
But the main thrust of the class was to make the point that the ego is egocentric. This sounds obvious, but my experience is that Course students tend to ignore the relational dimension of the ego, how it behaves toward and affects others. This relational dimension of the ego is central in the Course—as you can see in the two sections that introduce the ego (T-4.I-II)—yet it seems to have vanished in the minds of Course students. Instead, we tend to see the ego in its strictly internal form, as a wrong belief, a destructive inner voice that tells us things that cause us suffering and are not true.
One demonstration of this that I made was in relation to the word “egocentric,” which means “Thinking only of oneself, without regard for the feelings or desires of others; self-centered.” I did a Google search for appearances of the word “egocentric” in combination with “course in miracles.” Out of the first 20 results, 11 were direct quotes from the Course, 7 were Circle writings, 1 was not a Course site, and 1 was a writing of Hugh Prather’s in which he said that long-time Course students he knew had become “far more separate and egocentric.” Aside from the Circle, then, no one seemed to think that the word “egocentric” was an appropriate word to use (except for describing Course students!).
Yet if we look at how the Course talks about the ego, the relational aspect is central. The ego began, the Course says, as an attempt to raise ourselves above God, so that He didn’t create us; we created Him, and as an attempt to raise ourselves above our brothers, so that we were God’s favorite Son. The original and core impulse of the ego is the attempt to raise ourselves above and put others (even God) below. This impulse continues in our current attempts to become special, which by definition require us to raise ourselves above and put others below.
This is why the Course says the ego is “the devil”—something that is pure evil, gaining pleasure from the suffering of others. It even calls the ego “the self you made, evil and full of sin” (Lesson 93). And this is why, in talking about the ego, the Course alludes to biblical passages about demons. Of course, we are not evil, because the ego is not us. But we have identified with a thought that is evil, and have confused ourselves with it.
Now add in that the Course also says the ego is an idol we worship. In short, we treat it as our god. What that means is that, when all is said and done, our core devotion is to this separate self. In that hidden place inside, others are either food, obstacles, or irrelevant. That, of course, is the essence of egocentricity.
We know all this in relation to certain others. Especially when we have known someone closely for many years, we slowly can feel that there is in them this core of pure devotion to self. We know there is a central place in them where only one person is welcome. The key is to apply this learning to ourselves, to realize that just as we sense it in others, so others sense it in us.
OK, yes, this is an ugly thing, something we do not want to look at and do not really want to raise to question. Yet only if we emphasize the relational aspect of the ego can we understand what the problem really is and what the solution really is.
A huge part of the solution is the very simple act of widening our circle of concern, seeing the gains of others as our gain, and the losses of others as our loss. At the very simplest level, that which we care about, that which we identify with, has to become wider than this separate self. Certainly it already is a little bit wider, but how much? The more we expand that circle of concern, the more we transcend the ego.
I’d really appreciate hearing your reactions to this and your thoughts about it. I guess what I’d like to know is that we as a community have a willingness to acknowledge this relational aspect of the ego, and a willingness to reach beyond it.
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