The whole point of the holy relationship is to undo separateness. The relationship begins in an act of joining and then progresses towards the goal of full, constant, and stable joining. This is how we undo the sense of separateness called the ego-by uniting with another human being. The various passages quoted below talk about different ways in which separateness is reversed in the holy relationship.
The relationship’s goal is the undoing of all sense of separateness
The demarcations they have drawn between their roles, their minds, their bodies, their needs, their interests, and all the differences they thought separated them from one another, fade and grow dim and disappear (M-2.5:6).
Each one must share one goal with someone else, and in so doing, lose all sense of separate interests. Only by doing this is it possible to transcend the narrow boundaries the ego would impose upon the self (P-2.II.8:4-5).
This, however, needs the help of a very advanced therapist, capable of joining with the patient in a holy relationship in which all sense of separation finally is overcome (P-2.VII.3:6).
Think what a holy relationship can teach! Here is belief in differences undone. Here is the faith in differences shifted to sameness. And here is sight of differences transformed to vision (T-22.In.4:1-4).
What one of you experiences, both will experience
But forget not that your relationship is one, and so it must be that whatever threatens the peace of one is an equal threat to the other. The power of joining its blessing lies in the fact that it is now impossible for you or your brother to experience fear alone, or to attempt to deal with it alone (T-18.V.6:3-4).
This is the function of your holy relationship. For what one thinks, the other will experience with him. What can this mean except your mind and your brother’s are one? Look not with fear upon this happy fact, and think not that it lays a heavy burden on you. For when you have accepted it with gladness, you will realize that your relationship is a reflection of the union of the Creator and His Son. From loving minds there is no separation. And every thought in one brings gladness to the other because they are the same (T-22.VI.14).
Perhaps the specific form of resolution for a specific problem will occur to either of you [in prayer]; it does not matter which. Perhaps it will reach both, if you are genuinely attuned to one another. It will come because you have realized that Christ is in both of you. That is its only truth (S-1.I.7:8-11).
Either one has the power to save both—it does not matter which
…so is it equally impossible that the holy instant come to either of you without the other. And it will come to both at the request of either. Whoever is saner at the time the threat is perceived should remember how deep is his indebtedness to the other and how much gratitude is due him, and be glad that he can pay his debt by bringing happiness to both (T-18.V.6:6-7:1).
Now the extent of their success depends on how much of this potentiality they are willing to use. The willingness may come from either one at the beginning, and as the other shares it, it will grow (P-2.III.2:4-5).
From the standpoint of your union you can see the ego as nothing
For no one alone can judge the ego truly. Yet when two or more join together in searching for truth, the ego can no longer defend its lack of content. The fact of union tells them it is not true (T-14.X.9:5-7).
Look gently on your brother, and remember the ego’s weakness is revealed in both your sight. What it would keep apart has met and joined, and looks upon the ego unafraid (T-21.IV.8:1-2).
Rejoice whom God hath joined have come together and need no longer look on sin apart. No two can look on sin together, for they could never see it in the same place and time. Sin is a strictly individual perception, seen in the other yet believed by each to be within himself (T-22.In.1:2-4).
And so you and your brother stand, here in this holy place, before the veil of sin that hangs between you and the face of Christ. Let it be lifted! .Raise it together with your brother, for it is but a veil that stands between you. .Either you or your brother alone will see it as a solid block, nor realize how thin the drapery that separates you now (T-22.IV.3:1-4).
Enter the holy instant, where your relationship is already healed
I desire this holy instant for myself, that I may share it with my brother, whom I love.
It is not possible that I can have it without him, or he without me.
Yet it is wholly possible for us to share it now.
And so I choose this instant as the one to offer to the Holy Spirit, that His blessing may descend on us, and keep us both in peace (T-18.V.7).
Why should it take so many holy instants to let this be accomplished, when one would do? There is but one….Here is the loveliness of your relationship, with means and end in perfect harmony already. Here is the perfect faith that you will one day offer to your brother already offered you; and here the limitless forgiveness you will give him already given, the face of Christ you yet will look upon already seen (T-20.V.5:6-6:7).
The change of purpose the Holy Spirit brought to your relationship has in it all effects that you will see. They can be looked at now. Why wait till they unfold in time and fear they may not come, although already there? (T-26.VIII.6:3-5)
Join in joint holy instants
Your way will be different, not in purpose but in means. A holy relationship is a means of saving time. One instant spent together with your brother restores the universe to both of you….Here is the ultimate release which everyone will one day find in his own way, at his own time. You do not need this time. Time has been saved for you because you and your brother are together. This is the special means this course is using to save you time. You are not making use of the course if you insist on using means which have served others well, neglecting what was made for you. Save time for me by only this one preparation, and practice doing nothing else (T-18.VII.5:1-3,6:1-6).
Do you, then, offer grace and blessing to your brother, for you stand at the same altar where grace was laid for both of you. And be you healed by grace together, that you may heal through faith. In the holy instant, you and your brother stand before the altar God has raised unto Himself and both of you. Lay faithlessness aside, and come to it together. There will you see the miracle of your relationship as it was made again through faith (T-19.I.13-14).
[Please note: ACIM passages quoted in this article reference the Foundation for Inner Peace (FIP) Edition.]