So far, we have looked at two ways of transcending the ego: first, transcending the belief that we are on our own, and second, transcending the belief in separate interests.
In this class, I looked at another, more familiar way of transcending the ego, which is not accepting the lies it tells us about ourselves.
My two main points were, first, that the ego is waging a constant, all-out war to distort our view of ourselves. The result is that we have precious little objectivity when it comes to ourselves. The solution is to cultivate a high level of self-honesty, to be determined to not fudge the truth when it comes to ourselves.
My second point was that we need to realize that the ego distorts the truth in different directions, depending on whether we are talking about our true identity or our identity in this world. With our true identity, the ego distorts things in a negative direction, telling us that we are less than and worse than what’s true. With our false identity, the ego tends to distort things in a positive direction, telling us that we are more than and better than what’s actually the case.
It’s crucial to take this into account, because otherwise the temptation is to think that we should always correct for the ego in a positive direction, always think we are being too negative about ourselves. In fact, though, we need to correct in different directions, depending on the particular nature of the ego’s error and the particular direction in which the truth lies.
Here are the various lies I presented, along with the actual truth.
1. The ego says we are separate, but we are not.
We have covered this one in previous classes.
2. The ego says we are little, but we are limitless.
You see yourself as vulnerable, frail and easily destroyed, and at the mercy of countless attackers more powerful than you. (T 22.VI.10:6)
…a tiny you and an enormous world, with different dreams about the truth in you. (T-27.VII.11:3)
Love is not little and love dwells in you, for you are host to Him. Before the greatness that lives in you, your poor appreciation of yourself and all the little offerings you give slip into nothingness. (T-15.III.8:6-7)
3. The ego says we are vulnerable, but in truth we cannot be hurt
You cannot be hurt, and do not want to show your brother anything except your wholeness. (T-5.IV.4:4)
Defenselessness can never be attacked, because it recognizes strength so great attack is folly. (W-pI.153.6:4)
I am the holy Son of God Himself. I cannot suffer, cannot be in pain; I cannot suffer loss, nor fail to do all that salvation asks. (W-pI.191.7:3-4)
4. The ego says we are deprived, but God has given us everything
The ego’s picture of you is deprived, unloving and vulnerable. (T-7.VII.3:2)
The original dictation speaks of “lack of lack” and our original state being “a mental state of complete need-lack.”
5. The ego says we are a body, but the body is not even a real part of our identity
I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me. (Review VI in the Workbook)
6. The ego says we are guilty, but our nature is changelessly holy
There is no stone in all the ego’s embattled citadel that is more heavily defended than the idea that sin is real; the natural expression of what the Son of God has made himself to be, and what he is. (T-19.II.7:1)
If God knows His children as wholly sinless, it is blasphemous to perceive them as guilty. (T-10.V.12:1)
7. The ego says we feel guilty for violating our “ego ideals,” when our guilt really comes from betraying our true nature
You do experience the guilt, but you have no idea why. On the contrary, you associate it with a weird assortment of “ego ideals,” which the ego claims you have failed. Yet you have no idea that you are failing the Son of God by seeing him as guilty. Believing you are no longer you, you do not realize that you are failing yourself. (T-13.II.2:3-6)
In Freudian thought, ego ideals are our idealized standards and rules for good behavior, which are based on parental and social standards.
8. The ego says we create ourselves, our actions determine our identity, but only God has creative power over our identity
I am as God created me. (Workbook Lesson 94, 110, 162)
9. The ego says we are an image, which we craft, but the truth is that we have no image at all
You cannot perceive yourself correctly. You have no image at all. The word “image” is always perception-related and is not a product of knowing. Images are symbolic, and stand for something else. The current emphasis on “changing your image” is a good description of the power of perception, but it implies that there is nothing to know. (original version of 3.V.4)
10. The ego says that in humility we should let others dictate our self-perception, but we must be unwilling to side with any misperceptions of us
Bill has no justification whatever for perpetuating any image of himself at all. He is not an image. Whatever is true of him is wholly benign. It is essential that he know this about himself, but he cannot know it while he chooses to interpret himself as vulnerable enough to be hurt. This is a peculiar kind of arrogance, whose narcissistic component is perfectly obvious. It endows the perceiver with sufficient unreal strength to make him over, and then acknowledges the perceiver’s miscreation. There are times when this strange lack of real courtesy appears to be a form of humility. Actually, it is never more than simple spite. (Urtext)
It is your duty to establish beyond doubt that you are totally unwilling to side with (identify with) anyone’s misperceptions of you, including your own. (Urtext)
11. The ego says our most generous motives are really self-serving, but we need to be honest about the love that is actually in us
The ego is deceived by everything you do, especially when you respond to the Holy Spirit, because at such times its confusion increases. The ego is, therefore, particularly likely to attack you when you react lovingly, because it has evaluated you as unloving and you are going against its judgment. The ego will attack your motives as soon as they become clearly out of accord with its perception of you. This is when it will shift abruptly from suspiciousness to viciousness, since its uncertainty is increased. (T-9.VII.4:4-7)
12. The ego says that we should feel embarrassed, but embarrassment is egocentric
The following quotes are from Helen’s handwritten notes from Jesus:
Embarrassment is only a form of fear, and actually a particularly dangerous form because it reflects egocentricity.
Embarrassment is always an expression of egocentricity, an association which has been made before.
Returning to Mrs. Albert (not Andrews), she corrected your error about her name without embarrassment and without hostility, because she has not made your own mistake about names.
I love you. And I am not afraid or embarrassed or doubtful.
13. The ego says we are better than others, but in truth we are equals
Either they are equal or not. The attempts of therapists to compromise in this respect are strange indeed. Some utilize the relationship merely to collect bodies to worship at their shrine, and this they regard as healing. (P-3.II.9:6-8)
14. The ego says we are in a position to judge and to know, but we need to be honest and admit we are not
I will be honest with myself today. I will not think that I already know what must remain beyond my present grasp. I will not think I understand the whole from bits of my perception, which are all that I can see. Today I recognize that this is so. And so I am relieved of judgments that I cannot make. Thus do I free myself and what I look upon, to be in peace as God created us. (W-pII.243.1)
I do not know what anything, including this, means. And so I do not know how to respond to it. And I will not use my own past learning as the light to guide me now. (T-14.XI.6:7-9)
15. The ego says that we know better than God, but that is ridiculous
Do as God’s Voice directs. And if It asks a thing of you which seems impossible, remember Who it is that asks, and who would make denial. Then consider this; which is more likely to be right? The Voice that speaks for the Creator of all things, Who knows all things exactly as they are, or a distorted image of yourself, confused, bewildered, inconsistent and unsure of everything? (W-pI.186.12:1-4)
16. The ego says it’s all up to us, but we just have our part to play; the whole is in the hands of the Holy Spirit
Yet who could experience the end of guilt who feels responsible for his brother in the role of guide for him? Such a function presupposes a knowledge that no one here can have; a certainty of past, present and future, and of all the effects that may occur in them. Only from this omniscient point of view would such a role be possible. Yet no perception is omniscient, nor is the tiny self of one alone against the universe able to assume he has such wisdom except in madness. (P-2.VII.5:3-7)
The plan is not of you, nor need you be concerned with anything except the part that has been given you to learn. For He Who knows the rest will see to it without your help. (T-20.IV.6:1-2)
17. The ego says we can control reality, but we cannot even control ourselves
For the memory of God can dawn only in a mind that chooses to remember, and that has relinquished the insane desire to control reality. You who cannot even control yourself should hardly aspire to control the universe. (T-12.VIII.5:3-4)
18. The ego says we never attack first, but in truth no attack is ever truly provoked
This aspect never makes the first attack. But every day a hundred little things make small assaults upon its innocence, provoking it to irritation, and at last to open insult and abuse. (T-31.V.3:3-4)
19. The ego says it is always the other person’s fault, but surely we bear far more responsibility than we usually admit
Your brother’s sins become the central target for correction, lest your errors and his own be seen as one. Yours are mistakes, but his are sins and not the same as yours. His merit punishment, while yours, in fairness, should be overlooked. (T-27.II.13:4-6)
20. The ego says that we didn’t choose that—circumstances were thrust on us, but the truth is that our power of choice determines everything in our experience
[Defenses] seem to be unconscious but because of the rapidity with which you choose to use them. In that second, even less, in which the choice is made, you recognize exactly what you would attempt to do, and then proceed to think that it is done. (W-pI.136.3:3-4)
21. The ego glorifies our body, emphasizing its superior qualities, but the truth is that bodies are not important
22. The ego blames our misdeeds on our body, but that is just another way to dodge responsibility
[Please note: ACIM passages quoted in this article reference the Foundation for Inner Peace (FIP) Edition.]
Also read:
Transcending the Ego – Part 1
Transcending the Ego – Part 2
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