By Julie
You don’t know the pudding’s value until you taste it. That’s what this old saying means. Now, if you are in the market for some hope, confidence, or proof that A Course in Miracles delivers what it promises…have I got a story for you.
It all started when I traveled several states away to my ‘bonus’ (step) daughter’s college graduation. It was me and my husband of 15 years…and his ex (said daughter’s mom) and her sister, niece, etc…
I was a little worried. Nowhere near how I would have been pre-ACIM study, but still, I worried. What if they are mean to me? I thought. What if they crucify me? I predicted attacks. AND, importantly, I practiced what Jesus provided me in the Course. I was confident that I could handle anything that came my way (still predicting attack), and I was satisfied with my will to be the light and the love the entire weekend. I asked for guidance…and in my ACIM studies, I wondered what the Text readings would be during these 3 days.
The first night, we met up with everyone at a restaurant. The gang was made up of incredibly strong women with a lot of opinions. Right away, I noticed that that used to be me! I would typically be jockeying for my position, fighting all the while to get my way. Believing the ego when it told me I was under attack. But that wasn’t me now, instead I let it wash by me. I just smiled and listened – and repeated my words for the day: “Because I will to know myself, I will to see everyone today as God’s Son and my brother.” This made it easier for me to find peace in these environs, but I wondered how I’d make it through the weekend.
When we left, my husband (who knows nothing of the Course) said, “I think the way we make it through this weekend is that you and I keep our eyes on the fact that we’re here for the graduate. And we are the ones who go with the flow. We are the ones that just say, yes! to everything.” What I heard with Holy Spirit’s help was, “we aren’t under attack, there is no reason to defend – we know we are safe no matter what, so we can just remain in peace.”
I woke up the next morning to a wallop of a Text section: The Correction of Error [CE T-9.III]. As I read the section, I knew that God was with me. My words for the day: “I am not here to correct or change my brothers but only to heal them by seeing them truly.” No words were ever more perfect, helpful, loving, supportive, and needed for and by me.
My morning meditation was deep, and I felt Jesus holding my hands throughout. By the time I finished, I was so filled with love that I knew who I was. I couldn’t wait to share God’s light with everyone.
Time and again, things came up within the group where my pre-Course self would have gotten angry and sullen. I would have ruined the day for everyone, pulling them down in my dark, self-focused energy. Feeling sorry for myself, the poor victim! But none of that happened. And it wasn’t even hard. I did dutifully repeat my words from my workbook lesson every 15 minutes, but I didn’t cling to them or beg them to be true. They were just a cool breeze, a flower brushing my cheek. I was at peace.
Most importantly, by mid-morning, everyone around me seemed to have changed. As I was “seeing them truly,” they were no longer attackers. They were so much fun, they were warm, welcoming, inviting — brothers.
And then, that evening, my bonus-daughter’s mom pulled me aside and gave me a miracle. I’ve spent the majority of my time with ACIM figuring out how and when to give a miracle, so I wasn’t prepared for this at all. Within a warm, wonderful conversation, she told me how glad she was that I was in her kids’ lives, that she took responsibility for the dissolution of her marriage, that she really liked me, and was so grateful that I was there for the graduation. And then she said three things while looking deep into my eyes (and my soul):
– “No one did anything wrong.” (of the past–the divorce)
– “You are a good person.”
– “I see you, Julie, I see you.”
I’m still working on accepting these words, this perfect forgiveness, and this miracle. But I see clearly how much ACIM and everything offered here at the Circle have transformed my life.
____________________________________________________________
This is not a course in the play of ideas, but in their practical application. Nothing could be more specific than to be told very clearly that if you ask you will receive. [CE T-11.IX.4:3-4]
____________________________________________________________
If you enjoyed this story you might enjoy this one!
Or you may be interested in delving deeper into A Course in Miracles with a community.
