[Please note: ACIM passages quoted in this article reference the Foundation for Inner Peace (FIP) Edition.]
In her blog describing her recent breakthrough, a student recently spoke of sadness she has recently been experiencing, and said, “The sadness has persisted, standing for me as a disclaimer to my sincerity on the path.” I’ve been thinking ever since about Course students’ tendency to view distress in their lives as some sort of negative statement about their commitment and progress on the path. The student overcame this with her breakthrough, and I hope we can all put this idea to rest as she has done. I think we would all do well to recognize that distress on the Course’s path is normal, but at the same time not inevitable.
Of course, it may be true that distress we are feeling is an indicator that we are not really following the Course’s path. I think this can be confirmed with honest self-examination. If the truth is that you rarely crack open the book and you do a Course practice once in a blue moon, then sure, the distress you’re feeling in your life may be due to the fact that “you have not done what [this course] specifically advocates” (T-11.VIII.8:2).
Even if we really are following the path with reasonable diligence, distress may indicate a need to beef up our study or practice, or perhaps a need to use specific practices that directly address the perceived source of our upset. In both of these cases — distress that stems from not following the path or distress that stems from a need for redirection on the path — the remedy is not to heap guilt on ourselves, but to calmly roll up our sleeves and get to work.
But all that being said, I don’t think that sadness and other forms of distress are necessarily indicators of lack of diligence or sincerity on the path. In fact, such things can be a sign that we are following the path very sincerely indeed. The Course says, “You will weep each time an idol falls” (T-29.VII.1:2), and let’s face it, if we’re walking on this path, a lot of idols are gonna fall! So, we shouldn’t be surprised if there’s some weeping now and then. We may experience distress in many forms even if we’re truly doing all that we reasonably can.
This idea that some distress is a normal part of the path is also suggested by the “Development of Trust” section in the Manual. This is a section is talking about the developmental journey of teachers of God, people who have already progressed somewhat on their journey. Therefore, it is talking about people who have followed the path with reasonable diligence and sincerity. And throughout the process of development outlined here, it repeatedly indicates that distress in one form or another will likely come up along the way to total trust:
The first stage, the “period of undoing,” “need not be painful, but is usually so experienced” (M-4.I.A.3:2).
The second stage, the “period of sorting out,” “is always somewhat difficult” (M-4.I.A.4:2).
The third stage, the “period of relinquishment,” can (if interpreted as a sacrifice) “engender enormous conflict. Few teachers of God escape this distress entirely” (M-4.I.A.5:2-3).
The fifth stage, the “period of unsettling” (a phrase that in itself indicates a certain degree of distress), is a period in which the teacher of God is trying to reach a state of complete non-judgment “that may remain impossible to reach for a long, long time” (M-4.I.A.7:7).
Two things strike me about these lines. First, they suggest that a certain amount of distress is a normal part of the journey on the Course’s path. Now, initially this may sound depressing, and to mitigate this, I think it’s important to add that the Course promises that overall the path is a lot more joyful than stressful. But I find comfort even in the acknowledgement that the journey doesn’t always feel rosy. It tells me that when I’m sad or I feel anger welling up or I feel unsettled in any way, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m dropping the ball. It’s something Jesus fully expects to happen at times; it’s part of the path, not evidence that I’ve left the path. So, I can put away the guilt about being a “bad” Course student and instead constructively address whatever is coming up.
Second, these lines suggest that while distress on the path is normal, it is not inevitable. The journey “need not be painful”; it can but does not have to “engender enormous conflict”; that state of non-judgment may but does not have to “remain impossible to reach for a long, long time.” This addresses another dilemma Barb was addressing in her blog about her breakthrough: her belief that God was sending difficulties into her life to teach her lessons. No, the pain comes from us, and while it is often part of the path, it is not inevitable. I find this very comforting as well. I don’t have to experience any pain at all.
So, to sum up, I think the attitude we should adopt when distress comes up for us is something like this:
“Maybe this distress is happening because I’m not following the Course’s path with due diligence, or maybe it’s an indicator that I need to try something new in my practicing. I want to take an honest look at that. But it may also be that I’m doing everything I reasonably can, and this distress is coming up precisely because I’m doing my work. After all, a certain amount of distress is pretty normal on this challenging path. Let me not use it to heap guilt on myself for supposedly being a ‘bad’ Course student. Let me not think that God is sending it to me to teach me a lesson. Let me respond to it constructively by using my Course study and practice to overcome it. Let me respond to this difficulty on the path by continuing to walk the path. And let me remember that while this difficulty is normal, it is not inevitable. This Course is a path of joy, and I can experience that joy right here and right now. Thank you God. Amen.”
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Or you may be interested in delving deeper into A Course in Miracles.
