by Sue Lindsay
Several years ago, as I was driving to a hair appointment on a bright, sunny afternoon, I was gradually engulfed in a seemingly unprovoked sense of gloom and despair. It came out of the blue, but it took me from a normal state of peaceful consciousness to one of insecurity, depression and anxiety. It seemed unrelated to anything that was going on in my life at that time, but a few years later it would become evident to me that I had deeply submerged traumas and emotions from my growing years that needed to surface and get unpacked and let go.
While in this mournful state, I called out to Jesus. I said, “Jesus, I have no idea where this feeling is coming from, but I really need your help. I need to know that your love is still with me because right now it sure doesn’t feel like it.”
I drove another mile or two and was closely approaching the hair salon. I could see it clearly and was ready to pull in and park the car. As I was doing this, I very clearly heard, in my head, “Ladybug”. “Ladybug”? What in the world? I know I heard it, but Ladybug?
I went inside and greeted my friend, Lois. Lois was a very dedicated Christian and we often spoke of matters of faith. A few minutes into my haircut, Lois was called to the phone. While she was talking, I looked up at her little bulletin board where she tacked up news articles from our small-town newspaper, greeting cards and such. I saw a news article about a boy in our church receiving the Eagle Scout award. I removed it from the board, read it and went to put it back in its place. As I did so, I saw what had been underneath the news article, hidden from sight – a colorful brochure about a bed and breakfast from a nearby town. “The Ladybug Bed and Breakfast” the words shouted out to me. But then, I saw what was right beside the brochure, an ink sketching of Jesus, arms enfolding a woman, who was clearly distraught, with her head on his shoulder. Oh my gosh! This was too much! I thought about hearing “Ladybug” and now knew why. But —- how did he know that the phone would ring? Or that I would remove the news article? Or that the brochure for the Ladybug Bed and Breakfast would be right beside a sketch that showed me just what I needed to know?
So – Does he really know? Is he interested? Does he care? I had often pondered these questions after reading some of Helen and Bill’s cameos in A Course in Miracles. Jesus had helpful advice and information for each of them. Was this because they were scribing the Course and that was of utmost importance to Jesus? Could Jesus help each and every one of us? Now I knew the answer was YES! I’m so glad that I asked for help that day. I’m so glad that I asked to know that he was with me and loved me. Just knowing this I was wrapped in a kind of bubble of comfort that gave me the courage to begin exploring my early trauma issues.
A couple of weeks after my ladybug experience, my husband presented me with a gift. It was a lovely gold necklace with a ladybug that sits right in the middle of my neck. I never take it off. If I ever need to be reminded of Jesus’ love, I just touch my necklace, and I remember.
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Yet he [Jesus] would help you yet a little more if you would share your pains and joys with him, and leave them both to find the peace of God. [CE C-4.5:7]
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