Holy Matchmaker

by Lynn Robin Miller

soul-mate-relationshipI was never one to get clear guidance but one cold January morning as I was trying to make a decision I heard two words in my head that were so loud, so clear and so authoritative, that all I could do was squeak out a submissive, “okaaaaay.”

The summer before, I had left my secure government job, my house, and my husband to enroll in a holistic graduate program at an ashram (yogic retreat center.) By January, I had spent several months meditating, attending classes, and grieving my failed marriage, and now felt ready for a new relationship— should one come my way.

I had my eye on a younger, blond-haired man who I found rather attractive, and I had a dream about him one night. But just as we were about to kiss – a slightly older, handsome, dark-haired man that I didn’t recognize appeared out of nowhere and planted a kiss on my lips!!! I awoke with a start. Who was this mysterious man and why was I dreaming about him?

I had two wonderful vacation options that I was considering for the upcoming month- long semester break, and another one that I wasn’t even willing to consider—- staying at the cold ashram and inputting data, 8 hours a day, 6 days a week. So I kicked around the other two—- flying to Hawaii to visit my father, or flying down to Florida to spend time with my mother and stepfather on their yacht.

Tough decision! Either would have been fun, but it wouldn’t be any fun staying put. So, as I was weighing each option, I silently asked, “Where is guidance when you…” And just as I was about to say, “need it?”, a booming voice interrupted, and with great authority, said “STAY HERE!!”

There wasn’t anyone around, so I realized that the voice was in my own head. I had no idea why I was supposed to stay in that cold, snowy place, but I had always complained that I never heard guidance, and decided it would probably be a good idea to follow it. So, without a lot of enthusiasm I went to work on the windowless second floor of the library imputing data.

While there, I noticed a book I hadn’t seen before with a strange title, A Course in Miracles. Thumbing through it, I became confused as it had been my understanding that the ashram did not condone any channeled books. After making inquiries I was told that it was the only channeled book the spiritual director, an enlightened Yoga Master from the Himalayas, allowed at the Center. I was intrigued but didn’t think much of it until later when miracles started happening.

After a miserable week of imputing data had passed, I began to wonder if I was crazy, and I booked a flight to Hawaii. I had 24 hours to confirm the reservation. That next day however, something happened that made me completely change my mind about going to Hawaii. While passing the tea lounge, I glimpsed one of the guests who had come for the weekend retreat—a tall, dark haired man, reading a book. Although his back was to me I somehow felt drawn to him. Immediately the thought came to me, “That’s him. The man from my dream.” I walked on by without saying anything, wondering if I would ever have the courage to meet him.

Later, I went to the dining hall for lunch. It was a popular retreat spot and it was already very, very crowded. I only spied one empty seat and guess where it was? Yup, right next to the mystery man I had seen earlier in the day. I struck up a conversation with him. He was polite, and even though he was so handsome, he was extremely shy which somehow just brought out my assertiveness. I invited him to go ice-skating with me on a nearby frozen pond when I got off work 5:00 that evening. He agreed.

However, upon returning to work I learned that the computers were down and was told that I should take the afternoon off and come back to work at 5:00 pm when they would be back up and running again. I tried to explain that I had a date, but my boss would hear none of it. Grabbing a couple of pairs of skates, I ran outside to see if I could catch him during his free time. Unfortunately, he and everyone else had already disappeared up the hill to go hiking where the trails began. I kept going. Soon I could make out a lone figure walking back down. It was him! Brad! I explained what happened, and he said, “Lynn, I really don’t know why I turned around, except that something told me that I should come back down.”

So we went skating afterall. He was wobbly on borrowed skates, so I took his hand. It was all very romantic. As we skated, he confided in me that his wife had left him several months earlier and that he was a homebody who never went anywhere. In fact, when he was told to imagine himself at his favorite vacation spot during a guided meditation, he pictured himself in his own backyard. (I think he may have invented the “staycation.”) He admitted, however, that he felt guided to sign up for not one but two consecutive weekend retreats at the center, and had a premonition that he would meet a girl from New York! (guess where I’m from?)

We dated for several months until the summer came when I finally did go to see my father in Hawaii. While there, I received a call that the ashram’s program I had turned my life upside down for was not financially viable and was going to be terminated. I was devastated. Once again, I was faced with a decision regarding what to do and where to live. Brad and I had remained close during this time even though we were miles apart.

I did not hear clear guidance this time, but after doing a four-day silent retreat on the island of Kauai, I felt intuitively that I should accept Brad’s kind offer to move in with him. Of course, to hedge my bets, I continued to pray for guidance or a clear sign that my intuition was indeed correct.

Because Brad had always come up to visit me, I had never been to his house before. I knew he had built it almost entirely with his own hands just before his wife left him, and that the whole time he was building it, he felt that he was building it for someone else. I didn’t know the name of his small town but I followed the directions he gave me.

I was a little unsure of my decision to move in with him but when I arrived, all my doubts disappeared! Not only had he built the house in the town of Lynn—my name—he had built it directly across the street from the Lynn township sign itself. I had asked for a sign, and I had literally gotten one!

Lynn and Brad ice-skating on the anniversary of their first date.

Epilogue:
I would love to say that we immediately entered into a Holy Relationship and lived happily ever after but that’s not exactly what happened. At least not right away. Like any couple, we had our ups and downs. Especially because we came from entirely different backgrounds – me, extroverted and white collar from NYC and him, introverted and blue-collar from rural Pennsylvania. Plus, we had both experienced childhood trauma and didn’t have the healthiest ways of relating to our feelings or to others. Our saving grace was that we truly loved each other, shared many deeper values in common, including spirituality, and because of how we met, we both realized we were meant to be together. So whenever the temptation to part would come up, and it did, we persevered and moved passed it. Now every year we celebrate our first date by going ice skating as we did those years ago.

When I began studying the Course I learned about Holy Relationships. ACIM says that the Holy Spirit will bring people into your life with whom you have the potential for a Holy Relationship. At a certain point Brad and I consciously invited the Holy Spirit into our relationship which has now become a solid, long-standing marriage. I believe part of the reason we were brought together was to help each other heal from our respective childhood woundedness, but I suspect that we may also have also been brought together for a “special function” as the course describes it that we may be of benefit to others beyond ourselves. We are looking forward to whatever is ahead in this Holy Relationship.

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“You stand together in the holy presence of truth itself. Here is the goal, together with you.”
(ACIM CE) T-1.V.16
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