By Lisa Palumbo
During a very dark time for my former husband, I delivered a miracle even though at the time it felt like a job that just needed to be done. He had fallen deeply into alcoholism and, as a result of the physical and neurological damage it caused, was unable to care for himself. I ended up supporting him through basic daily tasks, and also, some tough, even repulsive, cleaning situations. It was exhausting for me emotionally and physically. But even though his condition was the result of his own choices, I could never bring myself to say no or turn away.
Until now, I struggled to see this as a miracle I had given. My ego often spoke up in the form of resentment and frustration. I didn’t feel loving all the time. But the truth is: I still showed up. I prayed for him, I stayed with him, and I helped him for as long as he needed it. And eventually, he began to heal. Today, he’s caring for himself again and doing so much better.
It has taken a while to realize the form of the miracle didn’t need to look “perfect.” It was the content—the willingness, the refusal to abandon him, and the steady presence—that mattered. Even if my ego had its say, I felt the part of me that answered the call was extending love.
I’ve been single for a while and haven’t really felt that I have any holy relationships or opportunities for them, because of how little I interact with people. But when I took inventory of the relationships in my life, I realized that I indeed have one where an all-important decision was made between both parties. My former husband and I were best friends long before we were anything else. And now, more than three decades after parting ways, we’re still friends. We made a conscious choice long ago not to carry past grievances into the present, and that choice has allowed our relationship to be free of judgment, resentment, or blame. That is the basis for a holy relationship and fertile ground for the giving and receiving of miracles.
This is the essence of what the Course teaches us—a relationship transformed through forgiveness and used for healing. I’m so grateful that I can now see this with the help of ACIM and the Circle of Atonement’s class on miracles.
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The miracle enables you to see your brother without his past, and so perceive him as born again. His errors are all past, and by perceiving him without them, you are releasing him. [CE T-13.VI.5:1-2]
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