by Sue Pearson
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The first rule in “Rules for Decision” in A Course in Miracles (ACIM) is “Today I will make no decisions by myself” (T-30.I.3:2). This section invites us to ask the Holy Spirit for guidance in everything we undertake.
I have trusted God with the big issues in my life—questions like “What would love look like?” and being led to my childhood best friend, Bill, to join in a holy relationship. That was a big deal. And I knew that reconnection was divinely guided. But what of the little things that come along in life? Why bother asking for guidance on trivial things? Things like which grocery store to go to for cookie-baking ingredients.
The week before Christmas, I made arrangements to get my 11-year-old twin grandchildren over to my house to bake Christmas cookies. Molly and Megan are so busy with activities and school that I don’t get to see them as often as I would like, so I was especially excited to have them come for the day during their Christmas break. The day before our bake-a-thon, I decided to go to the grocery store to get all the fun stuff to put on top of the cookies: icing, sprinkles, chocolate chips, and whatever other fun things I could find for decorating our creations. In the car on the way to the store, I thought, Which Safeway grocery should I go to—the one in Cameron Park about 15 minutes away or the one near Placerville, also 15 minutes away?
At that moment, I realized I was trying to make a decision by myself. Perhaps I could use this situation to test the Course’s direction to always ask for divine guidance even for the small things. In Cameo 6 of the CE edition of ACIM titled “Letting Him Take Charge of Minutiae,” Jesus tells Helen Schucman (the person who “scribed” A Course in Miracles) that if she would turn over the trivial things to him, he would save her time so she could give miracles.
So now, in my car headed to one of two grocery stores, I changed my mind.
Okay, Jesus, I thought. I won’t make this decision by myself. Forget Safeway. I don’t know where to go. Where would you have me go?
Go to Save Mart.
This is the message that came through almost immediately.
What?! I never go to Save Mart. The few times I’d been there in the past, I was not impressed with either quality or inventory. If this was heavenly guidance, it certainly had the element of the unexpected that I had come to view as a marker for the divine. I really didn’t think Save Mart would have the variety of cookie-baking goodies I wanted. I reminded myself that this was a test of the decision-making principles in ACIM. I had asked for help in this bit of minutiae. Had I been answered?
Okay, I’ll go to Save Mart, but I may have to go to another store after that to get all the things I want for our baking extravaganza.
I pulled into the parking lot of Save Mart, curious what I would find inside. I checked the signs above the aisles to find baking supplies and made my way past the flour and sugar to the baking chips. I found just the right brand of chocolate chips and placed them in my basket, then saw butterscotch bits and put them in too. My eyes gazed further down the aisle, and to my amazement the cookie-making goodies just went on and on to the end of the entire row. Reese’s Pieces, peppermint chips, Heath Bar chips, sprinkles of every color, white sugar stars, cookies and cream pieces, and more and more…
I could hardly believe my eyes. No grocery store I had ever been to had devoted an entire aisle to cookie-making goodies. As I surveyed the amazing array of ingredients and sugary extras, I began to laugh.
Go to Save Mart.
Thank you, Jesus. Your guidance was perfect. You saved me time so I could spend more of it with my precious grandchildren.
We made more than 100 cookies, but more importantly, we made wonderful memories that will warm our hearts for many years to come.
Just days after this little bit of fun, something far more serious grabbed my attention. My beloved 13-year-old yellow Lab became sick. Mac had been his sweet, loving, happy, healthy self until now. He couldn’t keep his food down. He was drinking an excessive amount of water and had to pee constantly. I took him to the vet who ran some tests. “He’s got diabetes and probably some other things going on. We’ll start him on a regimen of insulin injections and see how it goes,” the vet said.
I gave Mac insulin shots for several days but did not see an improvement in his condition. The vet had cautioned me not to give the shot unless Mac had eaten, because that could precipitate a real crisis. Three days into his treatment, he stopped eating completely. I called the vet. “What do we do now?”
“You could take him for a more comprehensive test to see what else is going on with Mac. An MRI would give us a lot more information. There are two clinics in your area that offer this procedure, but it is expensive,” the vet cautioned.
“I don’t care about the money,” I said. “I just want to see what can be done to help Mac.”
I called both clinics. The first one said MRIs were done without appointments. There might be a long wait time. And the cost was $900.
At the second clinic, appointments were taken, and the cost was $600.
My husband, Bill, was driving as we headed home from a brief errand that morning. I told him I thought I should ask for divine guidance. He agreed. My question was: Which of the two clinics should I take Mac to for this MRI? Then I thought, isn’t this just what you learned a few days ago with the grocery store dilemma? Wasn’t asking which of two clinics I should go to the same as asking which of two Safeways I should go to?
In “Rules for Decision,” that section I mentioned in A Course in Miracles, Jesus cautions us, “This is your major problem now. You still make up your mind and then decide to ask what you should do” (T-30.I.4:1-2).
Now I was again putting limits on the answer. Which clinic should I take Mac to…this one or that one? But I wanted very badly to do something. Was I ready for the answer if I let the question be more open-ended? I want to let go and let God, but do I really have the courage to release my own judgments and trust the guidance of the Holy Spirit?
“I am going to do it,” I told my husband. “I am going to turn this matter over to Jesus.”
I took a big, deep breath. “Jesus, what should I do about Mac?”
My guidance came through instantly: Don’t do anything. Don’t go anywhere.
This was what I was afraid of. I knew that to not do anything meant Mac would die.
When we arrived home, I could see that Mac’s condition had worsened. Not only had he stopped eating, even when we tried every yummy trick we could think of to get him to eat something, now he stopped drinking water, and his back legs were failing him. In a panic, I called our vet again. What she told me made me so sad, but I knew it was the truth. She told me that even If I took him for an MRI, we would only put a name to these things that had gone terribly wrong. If we opted to try emergency measures to stabilize him, we would inevitably face this same crisis again in a matter of weeks. “It might be time to let Mac go,” she said.
It was time. God knew it. The vet knew it. And now, with tears streaming down my face, I knew it.
We called a mobile vet service to come out and euthanize Mac at our home. The vet was so gentle with him and so compassionate towards us all. Dear, sweet Mac put his head in my lap as I stroked him and told him how much we loved him, how much we had been honored by his presence in our lives. The sun was shining on the deck, and it was warm, and Mac was wrapped in a soft blanket on his bed. He left this realm ever so quietly. I am grateful for the peace he experienced. I hadn’t rushed him to this clinic or that clinic. He hadn’t been frightened by being in a strange place and having people he didn’t know poke him and prod him. He was home with the people who loved him for 13 years.
Following divine guidance isn’t always easy but I know God’s plan is always better than mine.
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